


Nothing Happened

by SongsofPsyche



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angry Thorin Oakenshield, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Muteness, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Revenge, Secrets, Whump, fili!whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-09-20 08:02:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9482027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongsofPsyche/pseuds/SongsofPsyche
Summary: After missing for three days, Fili comes home beaten and shaken to the core. Kili tries his best to help his brother heal, but it's hard when Fili won't say a word or let anyone touch him.





	1. Chapter 1

"Have you seen Fili?" Thorin asked 

 

It was Monday morning, and Kili was sitting in the kitchen with his Uncle. The sun shone brightly through the windows, illuminating the Blue Mountains that surrounded their small village. Kili helped himself to more eggs, and then shook his head. 

 

"No. Not since last night when he left Bofur's early because he wasn’t feeling well." He answered 

 

"Hmmm, he was supposed to help me open the forge this morning, but he never showed. I had to do it by myself." Thorin answered, "But if he wasn’t feeling well...he might have stayed in bed. He should have told me last night though, or at least have left us a note." He added 

 

Kili nodded, “When I got home last night I went straight to bed, I assumed he was already in his room. I have some time before my lesson with Balin starts, I can go check up on him." 

 

Thorin nodded, grabbed a piece of toast, “I’ll come with you. If he’s truly ill I can sent for Oin, and have him looked at before Oin begins his track to Luin Landos.”

 

Kili nodded, Oin was one of the few healers that traveled in between the villages of the Blue Mountains.

 

When they got to Fili’s room, Kili knew something was wrong. The bed was made, and the lanterns were dark.

 

"It looks like he never came home." Kili commented, stepping inside. 

 

Thorin's brow furrowed, and he nodded. 

 

"Let's go tell Dwalin, he can send out a search party." 

 

They searched the entire day, and there was still no sign of the blonde. Kili was starting to get worried about his brother. Fili was a bit of a free spirit, going in and out as he pleased, but he  _always_ made sure to tell one of them where he was going, he always reached out to them no matter what. It was impossible for him not to. Kili loved his brother dearly, but it was impossible to get Fili to shut up or sit still for more than five minutes. His absence alone was enough to cause worry. 

 

"Where could he be?" Kili asked, as they checked the forge, and then the library for the third time in an hour. 

 

"Do you think it was the fight we had?" Thorin asked 

 

Fili and Thorin got a long for the most part, though Thorin thought that if Fili put a little more effort into his studies and less into his paintings than Fili would be a better heir to the throne. Fili thought Thorin was stubborn and traditional. Kili had heard both sides of this ongoing fight, and was somewhat tired of it. But he tried to remain mutual, inwards he agreed with his brother; Fili should have every right to do what he wants with his free time. But he would never let Thorin know his opinion, unless he wanted his wood carvings to go straight into the fire as well. Thorin had no patience for the arts.  The last fight between Thorin and Fili had happened the three nights ago, resulting in a smashed vase and a burnt painting.

 

“He put two weeks of work into that painting, anyone would be upset if it got thrown into the fire.” Kili said

 

“Well, if he had used those two weeks to write the essay Balin had given him, it wouldn’t have gotten burned.” Thorin replied hotly.

 

Kili remained silent, very aware of Thorin’s rising temper.

 

They continued their searching all Monday, and Tuesday evening. Thorin had the palace guards comb through the forest, Kili reached out to Ori and Nori, who traveled constantly into the woods to the next village over to see if he heard anything. 

 

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. 

 

Until late Wednesday night, when Fili stumbled into Kili's room.  Fili was covered in dirt, his cloth hair matted with mud and leaves. There was an obvious bruise on his face, and his left eye was swollen shut.

 

"Fili! You're back! What happened? We were so worried about you" Kili asked 

 

 But Fili just stood there in the doorway with an empty look on his face and a tremble on his lips. When he finally spoke, it was a mumbled stutter; 

 

 “Kili I...........I'm sorry......Markus......" He broke off with a pained expression, and clutched his side with his hand.

 

"I--I need to w-wash up.” he stuttered after a few beats.

  

And they he started walking no-limping towards the washroom. 

  

“Fili--?” Kili started, concerned for his brother, but Fili didn't stop. 

  

 There was nothing but silence, and the sound of running water.  

  

Kili tapped his fingers against his desk, there was something about the way Fili looked that troubled him. And the fact that he barely said a word. Usually Fili never stopped talking, what had happened? 

  

Kili jumped a little when the heard a knock on his bedroom door. He looked up and saw Thorin step into the room, a grim look on his face. 

 

“Fili’s back.” Thorin stated

  

“Is everything okay?” Kili asked 

  

Thorin started to shake his head, but then he stopped himself and shrugged. 

  

“I don't know, Kili. He came into the kitchen, and before I could ask him anything he bolted upstairs without a word.” he said quietly in a tone Kili had never heard before. 

  

“Did he tell you what--” 

 

“Where did he go?” Thorin asked, cutting him off.

 

“He said he needed to wash up.” Kili answered

 

Thorin nodded his head, “Okay, I’ll go check on him.”

 

And then he left.

 

There was more silence. Kili couldn’t shake the look in Fili’s eyes, it was a look he had never----

  

“Can you go grab some of his clothes? I think his night wear is at the washers.” Thorin’s voice made Kili jump as his Uncle came back into his room. 

  

He paused, but then nodded and stood up. 

  

“What’s going--” 

  

“Just go. I’ll tell you later.” 

  

Kili nodded, and turned to leave for the washers feeling slightly hurt that Thorin wouldn't tell him what was going on. 

  

When Kili returned, he walked straight up to the washroom and knocked softly. He heard a quiet gasp, and then Thorin's whispered assurances; “it’s only Kili, with your clothes. It’s alright, no one is going to hurt you.” and then the door opened a notch and Thorin's head poked out. Kili smelled the soapy water as it wafted out, and heard the splashing of the water, but Fili was silent. 

  

“Here are the clothes.” Kili said softly, “Is everything okay? What's going on?” he asked again. 

  

“Everything will be fine. Let’s get him to bed and let him rest.” Thorin said, his tone grim and serious. Kili nodded and handed him the bundle. 

  

“What else can I do?” he asked 

  

Thorin thought for a second, and then said  ”Wait here. I'm going to help him get dressed, and then go talk to Dwalin. See if he can send some scouts out tonight, and try to track down who did this. The trail is getting colder by the minute, I must go now. Could you sit with him while I go?” he asked. 

  

Kili nodded, “Sure, no problem.” 

  

And Thorin shut the door again. 

  

Kili paused in the hallway, unsure of what to do, unsure if he should be listening to the whispers coming through the door. Finally, after what seemed like ages, Thorin emerged and closed the door behind him. 

  

“Kili?” he asked, beckoning him towards him. 

  

“Yes?” 

  

“I'm going to go get things sorted out with Dwalin. Can you sit with him until I get back?” Thorin paused, then took a deep breath, “Kili, someone or something has hurt him, badly. I'm not sure who yet, he hasn’t said----he’s a little freaked out--he doesn't want to be touched, just--just be there for him, okay?” he asked with a pained expression on his face. 

  

Thorin gripped his should in what seemed to be a reassuring way, but Kili could feel his fingernails digging into his skin. Kili just nodded, still confused about what was going on. 

  

“Did he tell you--?” he started to ask, but Thorin shook his head. 

  

“He hasn’t said a word--i think he’s in shock. He needs a quiet place to rest, and a healer. I'm going to notify Dwalin now, have him do a perimeter search. Maybe whatever hurt him stuck around, or left tracks or something. Just stay here with him, keep him calm.” Thorin explained. 

  

Kili nodded again, “Okay.” 

  

Thorin gave his shoulder another squeeze and then turned away, jogging down the stairs. 

  

Kili waited until his footsteps faded to knock softly on the door. 

  

“Fili?” he asked softly, “It’s Kili, may I come in?” 

  

Kili paused, but he didn't hear an answer. He opened the door quietly and stepped in. 

  

Fili was sitting with his back against the wall, knees tucked up against his chest, his wet hair lank against his face.  He did not look up when Kili entered, or do anything at all except hunch his shoulders in, making his appear smaller than he seemed. 

  

Kili felt lost at what to do. Fili was so different, so still and quiet. It scared him, but he also felt a rush of anger. Whomever did this to his brother was going to pay. He let a breath out, and then walked over and kneeled next to Fili. Now he could see that most of the dirt on his face was actually bruises, like someone had beaten him badly. Kili did not miss the shudder, or how Fili leaned away from him, like he was too close to him. 

  

“Fili?” Kili asked again, he gently put his hand on his brother’s knee. 

  

“Everything is going to be okay.” he said, trying to be reassuring, but the he felt Fili flinch under his touch so he moved his hand away. 

  

Kili sighed, then leaned back against the tub, mindfully aware of the distance between them. He could see Fili was shaking but trying hard not to show it. What  _had_ happened?  Fili seemed incredibly small in the baggy nightclothes he wore. It was so unlike him, to be small and quiet. He seemed to be battling with something internally. He kept shuddering and shaking his head, unaware of where he was, or whom he was sitting with. Kili sensed that he was drifting farther and farther away, and he had no idea how to bring him back. 

  

_But I have to try._  Kili thought. 

  

“Fili?” he said, and when his friend didn't respond he said it again. 

  

“Everything is going to be okay. You’re safe now. No one is going to hurt you here. Fili? Look at me.” Kili asked. Fili froze, but after a few moments he looked up. Their eyes met for a split second and then Fili looked away. 

  

Kili sighed. “Whatever happened, you can tell me. I'm your brother and your friend, no matter what.” he said gently, eyes never leaving his friend’s face. Fili nodded his head slightly. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. He let out a shaky breath and then another one. Kili smiled a little but he didn't want to say anything to break this sudden change in atmosphere. Fili seemed less tense now, than before. And Kili realized that they didn't need words to be comfortable with each other.

  

They both jumped when Thorin knocked on the door, and the comfortable spell that was between them broke. Fili shuddered again and lowered his head. Kili stood up and opened the door. 

  

Thorin’s expression was still grave, “Come, let’s get him to bed. After speaking with Dwalin I went to Oin’s house, but he left for the next village and won’t be back until tomorrow morning. The best thing we can do now is let him rest.”

  

  

Kili nodded, then opened the door wider. He turned to his brother, walked over and kneeled down next to him. 

  

“Fili? Thorin’s here. Let’s get you to bed. Everything will be better in the morning, I promise.” 

  

Fili nodded slowly without opening his eyes. Kili stood, then backed up, giving Fili room to stand on his own. Fili winced slightly as he pushed himself up to standing, he clutched his right side with his left arm and swayed a little. 

  

“Whoa, you’re okay?” Kili asked, reaching out to steady him. Fili’s eyes flashed opened and he flinched away from Kili’s touch. Kili withdrew his hand. 

  

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” he whispered, he took a few steps back and it was only when he had given Fili enough space did he move on his own, towards the door. Kili noticed that he was limping slightly and exchanged a look with Thorin before he opened the door wider and gestured for them to follow him. 

 

  

When they arrived at Fili’s room, Fili limped over to his bed, but didn’t sit. He looked around a little, and then back down at his feet. He seemed to be thinking things over. Kili desperately wished he could read his thoughts, it would make things so much easier. 

  

“Fili?” Thorin asked, Fili jumped but then looked up towards him.

 

“You can rest now. We’ll figure everything else out in the morning. It will get better, I promise.” Thorin told him, gesturing towards the bed. 

  

Fili nodded, and then sat down. 

 

“Do you want one of us to stay with you here tonight?” Thorin asked

 

Fili shook his head.

  

“Okay, that’s okay. Kili and I will be right next door, if you need anything.” Thorin continued. Fili nodded again, and then laid down, favoring his left side. He let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. 

  

Kili tapped the bed gently with his hand. 

  

“Try to get some rest, Fee. We’ll see you in the morning.” he said quietly and then he followed Thorin out, closing the door softly behind him. 

 

  


	2. Chapter 2

Kili barely slept that night. The haunted look in Fili’s eyes kept looming into his dreams. When morning finally came, Kili felt even more exhausted then he had been the night before. He wondered what would happen, now that it was morning. Would Fili tell them what happened? Would he tell them anything at all? 

  

Slowly, Kili sat up in his bed, shivering in the cold morning air. His stomach growled as he quickly got dressed, then headed downstairs to the kitchen.

 

Thorin was sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee. Killi poured himself one, and sat down next to him.

 

“Any news from Dwalin?” Kili asked

 

Thorin shook his head, “They found evidence of a fight, back in the north woods but the trail had gone cold by the time they got to it. Whomever did this, is long gone.”

 

“Or they hid their tracks.”

 

“Or they hid their tracks.” Thorin confirmed, nodding his head.

  

“Do they have any idea who did this?” Kili asked softly. 

  

Thorin shook his head, a sullen expression on his face. “Did he say anything to you last night?” he asked. 

  

“Not a word. Did he tell you anything?” 

  

Thorin shook his head, “No but his injuries spoke for themselves. Someone beat him--badly. He had bruises everywhere and I think--- I think...” Thorin paused, a pained expression on his face. 

  

“What?” Kili asked  

  

But Thorin shook his head,  

  

“Nothing, its nothing, just—Kili, He wouldn't let me touch him at all, and he wouldn’t say anything. Something happened to him, something bad. I want to find out who--or what did this to his so we can make it right.” 

  

Kili nodded in agreement, “Yeah, me too. I want to catch the creep who did this and...and teach him a lesson!” 

 

  

“Maybe it was Markus, or one of his sons?” Kili asked

 

Markus was the other blacksmith in town, and their competition was fierce. Markus was a man, from Gondor and even though he got a long with the majority of the dwarves he was often mistrusted because he was an outsider. He did boast a “I’m better than you, stupid dwarf” attitude, but most men who traveled in the Blue Mountains did. The older dwarves,--Thorin, Balin, Dwalin---had too much pride to let these men bother them, but the younger generation—Kili, Fili, Ori----had a constant rivalry with Marku’s sons, especially with the younger one--Lucas-- who's one goal was to make their lives misreable.

 

Thorin was forever trying to keep the peace among them.

  

“Look, let’s try to talk to Fili first, before we start pointing fingers. This could have been a random hit and run for all we know. It even could have been an accident.”  Thorin said, eyes flashing up.

 

"He was gone for three days, Thorin. This wasn’t an accident." 

 

"I know. I know, Kili. Let's just focus on getting him better first." 

 

Kili nodded, and as much as he wanted to blame somebody right now, he knew Thorin was right. 

  

  

“So, let’s go talk to Fili. I left a message for Oin last night that we found Fili and that he is injured.” Thorin answered, walking towards the door. 

  

“Sounds like a plan.” Kili answered, and he followed his Uncle out of the room. 

  

888 

  

Fili was still in bed when Thorin knocked and opened the door, but his eyes were open. When he saw them, he shuddered slightly and pulled the covers tightly around his arms. Kili hesitated at the door. Did Fili really want this right now? Even from a distance Kili saw the paleness of Fili’s face, and the tear tracks that stained his cheeks. 

  

“Hey Fili” Kili said softly, touching the bed with his hand. Thorin walked past him and knee led down so he was eye level with Fili. 

  

“Fili?” Thorin asked in a soft voice, he waited until Fili was looking at him, and then continued. 

  

“How're you doing? Are you feeling better?” Thorin asked. Fili shrugged his shoulders and then pushed himself up to sitting, wincing slightly. He clutched his right side and pulled his knees up to his chest and shuddered, then he closed his eyes. 

  

Kili gently sat down at the foot of the bed. He wanted to help, but he wasn't sure how to. 

  

Fili took a couple of deep breathes, then opened his eyes again. He let out a little sigh, then gave a slight nod. 

  

“Are you ready to tell us what happened?” Thorin asked, in the same gentle voice. 

  

Fili shifted and then winced again. He looks up at Kili, their eyes meeting for a second and then he glanced away with a slight shake of his head. Kili suddenly know what Fili was telling him; he wasn’t ready to talk, not now, maybe not ever. As much as Kili wanted to know what happened so they could catch the guy that did this, Kili knew that they could wait until Fili was ready. 

  

“It’s okay, you can tell us when you’re ready.” Kili said softly, and then asked “Are you hungry? We should get some breakfast.” 

  

“And a healer. Can you tell us what hurts? We don’t want your injuries to go unattended.” Thorin added in. 

  

Fili shrugged his shoulders, then winced and clutched his right side. 

  

“Healer first?” Thorin asked, looking at Kili. 

  

“Healer first.” Kili confirmed. 

  

Thorin stood. “I will get  Oin, he should be here by now. Can you--?” 

  

“I’ll stay” Kili finished for him, and Thorin smiled. 

  

“I’ll be back.” he said, and then he trotted out the door, closing it softly behind him.Once he was gone, Kili sighed a little, he had no idea what he was doing, or what he could say to offer his brother comfort.  

 

He pulled over a chair and sat down. Fili sat up in the bed, pulling his knees in towards his chest. He stared at his hands, picking at a hangnail. 

 

 “You know I’ll always be here for you, right?” Kili asked gently. Fili looked up at him and gave him a small smile. 

 

Neither of them spoke for one long minute, until-- 

  

“Kili?” Fili asked in a small whisper. He wrapped his arms around his knees, and starting rocking softly back and forth. He started speaking in quick, whispered sentences. 

"Kili.....Kili....they....they trapped me, and held me down. I could see him standing over them, watching me, laughing at me. It hurt. They won’t stop. It won’t stop. He won't stop. Please please, make them stop.” Fili pleaded in the same desperate voice, his eyes brimming with tears. 

 

Kili scooted closer towards the bed. 

 

"Who? Who did it? Please, tell me Fili." 

 

Fili stilled, "Men. He made them. I thing they were hired. But he watched, and laughed" 

 

"Who?" 

 

Fili's eyes flashed up, and there was a sense of clarity that wasn’t there before. 

 

"Lu-----Lucas." 

 

Their eyes met and held for ten seconds, and then Fili relapsed back into the mantra he had been chanting before. His hands came up and he clutched his hair, rocking back and forth. 

 

Kili sighed, Lucas was Markus’s son and the leader of their little “gang”. Lucas was crueler than Markus, determined to make the dwarves’ lives as hectic as possible. In the past they had played tricks on each other, resulting in embarrassment and hurt pride, but never anything like this. This was out of the ordinary, even for a crony like him.

 

"No, no, no. Stop. Make them stop. No, no, no......" 

  

“Shhh, it's okay. They are long gone, they won't hurt you anymore.” Kili said trying to be a comfort, but Fili only shuddered and flinched his head away lost in his memories.  Kili's vision went blurry as his eyes filled with tears, he hated seeing his brother, his best friend like this. He would do anything to make things right again, to have them go back to where they were smiling and laughing again. 

  

“Stop, stop. No, no no no no no.” the mantra continued from the vicinity of Fili’s knees. Kili brought his hand up, and very gently placed it on Fili's shoulder.

  

“Everything is going to be okay.” Kili whispered, completely lost at what to do. 

  

There was a soft knock on the door; Thorin had returned with the healer. Immediately Fili stiffened, and he moved away, out of Kili’s grasp. Kili let him, not wanting to startle his brother further. 

  

“it’s okay, it’s just Thorin and Oin.” he told Fili, and then he turned towards the door. 

  

“Come in.” he called, trying to keep his voice soft. He felt Fili shudder under the covers. 

  

Thorin came in the door, followed by Oin, and Balin. 

  

Balin looked grim as he silently entered the room and approached Fili, who kept his head bowed, hiding his face behind his hair. Kili stood up, and stepped aside so the older dwarf could examine his brother. Balin gently placed his hand on top of Fili’s lowered head, and Fili shuddered slightly at his touch. Balin had practically raised the two of them, serving not only as their teacher but as their second father. Balin’s brow furrowed as he thought, and then he lifted his hand up.  

“A great warrior has been wounded, but the greater wound is in his soul. But fear not, with the help of those who love him, he will heal in time. Focus not on revenge, but on healing and trust. The being who did this will be caught, and a proper sentence will be carried out.” he said, eyes going from Thorin to Kili's and back again. 

 

He then turned to the healer, "Oin, I will need a full report when you are finished." 

 

Balin looked back at Thorin,  “I will excuse both of them from their lessons today, I believe they will all need the rest. 

 

 Thorin nodded, “Thank you, Balin.” he answered for the three of them. Balin bowed his head, and then with a swish of his long, white beard, he left. 

  

Oin who had been setting up his bandages and ointments stepped up to the bed, holding a tin of salve in her hand. Oin greeted them with a soft “good morning” and smiled. 

  

“Hello, Fili. Thorin has informed me on what has happened, I will try my best to make sure you're comfortable.” he said gently to Fili, who nodded but didn't look up. 

  

Thorin tapped on the bed lightly, “Would you like us to step outside?” he asked.  

 

Fili looked up, eyes lighting on Thorin, Kili and then the healer before he nodded. Thorin's frowned, but stepped back respectfully. 

  

“Alright. We will be in the next room if you need us." He said and then gestured for Kili to follow him outside. Kili stood up and put a hand on Oin’s shoulder, 

  

“Thank you.” he said softly, and then followed Thorin out the door. 

 

  

 


	3. Chapter 3

In the kitchen, Kili poured a cup of coffee and fixed it the way Fili liked it (three lumps of sugar, no milk), and then sliced up a piece of bread, put some goat cheese and apple slices on it and put it on a plate. He turned around to see Thorin watching him, weary eyed.

 

“Fili had always been a target for their _games_. Stealing his notebooks, laughing at him as he walked by. I always assumed Fili could stick up for himself. He should, it’s our way. He never said anything about it though, he never let it show that they got to him. If I only had paid more attention to him….to them….then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.” Thorin whispered, staring at his feet.

 

Kili looked up at his Uncle and sighed, “Now is not the time for self pity, Uncle. We have to focus on Fili, making sure he feels safe.”

 

Thorin nodded, but didn’t say anything.

 

 

"Come on, let's go sit with him." Kili said 

 

He waited for Thorin to pour himself some more coffee, and then they headed towards the room Fili was in. Kili knocked softly, and then entered. 

 

Fili was sitting up in bed. The cuts on his face and hands had been bandaged. When he saw them, he gave them a slight smile. 

 

"Hey Fee, we brought you some breakfast." Kili said, as he walked in a put the bowl of oatmeal down on the nightstand, and then he sat down in the chair. Thorin followed his lead, and pulled over another one, sitting next to Kili. 

 

The three of them sat in silence. Kili had no idea what to say next. Fili took the cup of coffee, and took a sip. Kili could see his hands were shaking, and suddenly realized that them sitting here in complete silence was not making Fili comfortable at all. 

 

“Balin has excused us from our lessons today. I don’t know what I am going to do with all this new free time.” Kili said, with a slight smile

 

Fili nodded, but didn’t say anything. He took another sip of coffee.

 

“Yesterday I saw that Ori had knitted a new patch of hats, I bet today we will get a package with hats of our very own. Hopefully they won’t be purple this time.” Kili continued.

 

After a few more minutes of silence, Thorin stood up.

 

“I’m going to talk to Dwalin.” He said, and then he walked out of the room.

 

Kili watched him go, and then turned to Fili, “You probably heard him stomping around earlier?” he asked.

 

Fili nodded his head.

 

“Lucas won’t get away with this. This is the last time that he messes with us.” Kili said softly.

 

Fili nodded his head again, and then winced and touched his side. He put down the cup of coffee and picked up the bread. He took a small bit and then set it down again.

 

To Kili, it was strange that his brother was so quiet.

 

“You can speak to me, brother. You are safe here, with me.” Kili prompted.

 

Fili shrugged his shoulders, and then shook his head slightly.

 

“Take as much time as you need though, I’ll be here to listen when you are ready.” Kili said, hoping that Fili knew that he meant it.

 

Fili took a deep breath, and then winced again.

 

“Did Oin give you something for pain?” Kili asked

 

Fili nodded, and motioned towards a small vial on the desk.

 

“After you eat some, take it.” Kili said

 

Fili nodded again, and nibbled on some more bread.  Now that it was lighter in the room, Kili could fully see the damage that had been done to his brother. There were various cuts, scraps and bruises on Fili’s face, and his left eye was swollen shut. There were hand shaped bruises around Fili’s neck, and Kili could see the dark bruises and cuts on Fili’s arms underneath his white nightshirt. Both of his wrists were bandaged heavily, and there were more bruises on his hands.  That was only the damage Kili could see, Fili hadn’t let Oin examine his back or his legs. What else had they done to him?

 

Fili ate silently, keeping his eyes cast down, not looking at Kili once. Kili kept up a steady chatter of small talk, wanting to make sure that Fili knew that he was okay with his silence. After about ten minutes, Fili put down the half eaten piece of bread and then reached for the vial. He struggled with the cap, and Kili reached over to help him. He pulled it off, poured the correct dose (both Kili was used to Oin’s pain medication, he knew the routine). Fili accepting the small dose silently, drinking it on one gulp.  He then laid down in the bed, wincing slightly.

 

“Just rest today, Fee. Everything will be okay.” Kili said, touching Fili’s hand lightly. Fili jumped at his touch, and then winced.

 

“Sorry. Sorry. It’s okay.” Kili said quickly, pulling his hand away.

 

He waited until Fili has closed his eyes, and then he stood up and headed out of the room.

 

Kili closed the door softly, and let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. This was bad, he knew it was bad. He had never seen his brother like this before. Sure, they had their rumbles with Lucas and his gang, but never before had they come out of it shaking, and silent. Something _else_ happened, they did something _else_  to him to make him scared.

 

He heard movement in the kitchen and quickly walked down the stairs to find both his Uncle, and Dwalin sitting at the table sipping coffee. Kili walked over them.

 

“Any news?” he asked

 

“Yes. And no. How is he?” Thorin answered

 

“Sleeping, he took the medication Oin gave him. What do you mean, yes and no?” Kili asked

 

Thorin sighed, “Dwalin was able to follow Fili’s trail, track him back to where he was assaulted. We found enough evidence there that points towards that boy, Lucas. But when we went to their forge today, it was packed and bordered up. It seems that both Markus and Lucas fled during the night.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I’ve sent a notice to all the villages, if Lucas and Markus are seen in the Blue Mountains they are to be arrested at once.” Dwalin added gruffly, taking a sip of his coffee.

 

“It’s just like them, to flee.” Kili muttered darkly, sitting down next to his uncle.

 

Thorin something darkly under his breath that Kili couldn’t hear.

 

“Oin said he would come back this afternoon to finish his examination.” Thorin said

 

“Hopefully Fili will be calmer by then.” He added

 

Kili nodded his head, “I know Fili didn’t want us to be in the room with him and Oin, but I think it’ll be best if one of us sat with him this time. Keep his distracted long enough for Oin to do his work.”

 

Thorin nodded his head, but didn’t say anything.

 

 

“Has the lad said much?” Dwalin asked

 

Kili shook his head, “Only a word or two.”

 

Dwalin frowned, but then said “Let’s hope he’ll be back to himself after he heals some.”

 

Thorin nodded his head, and his brow furrowed.

 

“Kili?” he asked, “Could you go start up the forge? I would like to stay close to the house today, in case I am needed”

 

"Of course, Uncle." Kili said and he stood up from the table, slightly reluctant to leave but also relieved to be doing something. Opening up the forge was something he could do, something to keep his mind off of his brother.

 

Kili was halfway to the forge when he realized that he need his hat and scarf. It was still winter, and he felt his teeth chattering.

He backtracked, and entered through the front door. As he was grabbing his scarf he overhead Thorin and Dwalin’s conversation from the kitchen;

 

“…..has happened before….Part of the reason the lads live with me and not their father. When they first arrived Fili had bruises on his back, and stomach and he barely said a word to me. Kili was only a baby, he was too young to remember but Fili must have been eight or so. It took him nearly a month to trust me, and even then he was leary. It took him almost a year to let me close enough to touch him, two years to speak freely in front of me. That was almost twenty years ago. You wouldn’t know it now, of course.”

 

Kili paused as he listened. He had no memory of his father, no memories of life before living with Uncle Thorin in the Blue Mountains. He knew he and Fili had been born in the Iron Hills, and their mother passed giving birth to him. But that was all. Thorin never mentioned his father, and Kili didn’t think much of him. Fili must have had some memories of their father, but he never said anything either.

 

“He got better though, right? With time?” Dwalin asked

 

“Yes. With time.”

 

Then Kili heard them shuffling, and quickly pulled on his scarf and tiptoed out of his house. When he was sure he was clear of them, he ran towards the forge and opened it, busying himself with cleaning so when Thorin came in twenty minutes later it looked like he hadn’t been eavesdropping. Not at all.

 

  

 

  


	4. Chapter 4

A few days past, and not much changed. Oin was able to do a full examination of Fili, but only because Oin gave him a sedative. What they found on Fili’s back and legs were hand shaped bruises and half healed rope burns, obvious signs of assault. He also had three broken ribs.

 

Kili felt lost at what to do. He wandered around the house, trying to put what happened together in his mind. Sometime he sat with Fili, but it felt tense and awkward. All Kili wanted to do was help, but he had no idea how to.

 

It was a Wednesday night, and Kili was in the library wiping away tear with his hands and trying hard to breath. He had Balin’s large westron encyclopedia on his lap, and he flipped frantically through the definitions  _assault, attack, abuse, mute, rape ,trauma_ but none of it made sense to him. He stared hopelessly at those words, words that offered clinical, clear definitions but no solution on how to fix them. With a sigh of suppressed rage, he threw the book as hard as he could and watched as it hit another stack of books with a satisfying bang.

 

“The words don’t help much, do they?” a voice said from behind him, making Kili jump.

 

Kili turned around to see Balin standing in the doorway, looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face.

 

“I just want to help him. I just want to make things better for him, but I don’t know how.” Kili said, face burning as he wiped more tears away with his hand.

 

Balin walked over to him and sat down on the bench across from him.

 

“I know, lad.” He said softly, he handed Kili his handkerchief.

 

“I don’t know what to do.”

 

“I know. I don’t think any of us know what to do.” Balin answered.

 

“He still won’t let me touch him. He still won’t talk to me.” Kili said.

 

Balin thought for a long minute, and then he put his hand on Kili’s knee.

 

“Be there for him, but don’t crowd him, be there to listen, but don’t force him to speak. Let him come to you, then and only then will he be able to trust you enough to let you in.” Balin said

 

Kili nodded his head.

 

“Fili has been through a lot.” Balin said

 

Kili nodded his head, he knew Fili’s whole story now. Thorin had told him yesterday over their morning coffee (and Kili pretended that it was the first time he had heard it).

 

“When you and Fili first arrived here, to live with Thorin, Fili was just a lad, barely eight years old. It took a long time for Fili to trust your Uncle, even longer to trust Dwalin and myself. The way I helped him trust me was that I sat down next to him every night and told him a story. At first he was too scared to move, to look at me, or to listen, but then as time went on he came to enjoy my stories, and my visits.  I think if you do the same, he will open up to you.”

 

Kili nodded his head, Balin’s words making more sense to him than all the useless jargon he had read in the encyclopedia.

 

“Start slow, maybe by his bedside for fifteen minutes a day, and then as he grows more comfortable, expand; instead of by his bed, suggest the kitchen table, after that outside on the porch and so on. Let him know that you are there, and that you will make sure he is safe.”

 

Balin smiled, “You’re a good brother, Kili. I know this is hard for you—it’s been hard for me too--- but I know you can do it. Just be kind, patient and love unconditionally.”

 

“Okay, I’ll try.” Kili said

 

888

 

The next morning, with Balin’s words fresh in his mind, Kili walked over to his brother’s room and knocked softly on the door before entering.

 

Fili was awake, he was sitting in the window seat, wrapped in a blanket and staring out at the sky.

 

“Hey Fee.” He said softly

 

Fili looked up at him, and gave him a slight smile.

 

“May I sit with you?” Kili asked, pointing to the empty left side of the nook.

 

There was a pause, but then Fili nodded his head.

 

Kili smiled as he sat on the ledge, settling his back against the wall and pulling his feet up. Fili, in turn pulled his feet closer to his knees, and wrapped his arms around them, making him appear smaller.

 

Kili looked up at his brother and smiled, “Remember when we used to sit here all night, and watch the moon rise together?”

Fili nodded his head. The bruises and cuts still hadn’t healed all the way, it was all Kili could do to not wince at the sight of his brother’s broken face.

 

“How are you feeling?” Kili asked

 

Fili shrugged his shoulders, and winced slightly, putting a hand to his chest.

 

“Oin said there’s not much to be done about broken ribs except sit still and hope they heal fast.” Kili said

 

Fili nodded again.

 

There was another stretch of silence. Fili bit his lip, and picked at a hangnail. Kili felt himself getting antsy, and he shifted against the wall. He looked outside and watched as an early fall breeze rustles the trees, causing yellow and orange leaves to fall.

 

Kili sighed, he didn’t know if he could do this. He didn’t know if he could just sit here and watch the leaves as his brother destroys himself from the inside out. He had no idea what to do, no idea how to offer Fili comfort. He had to try something, he had to do something.

 

“Fili, please. Talk to me. Maybe if you talk about what happened, it will help.” Kili tried, looking up at his brother.

 

Fili stilled for a moment, but then he shook his head.

 

“Please, Fili---.” Kili said, putting his hand on Fili’s knee.

 

Fili flinched away as if Kili has burned him, and jerked his knee out from under Kili’s hand.

 

Kili scooted forward, and touched Fili’s knee again.

 

“Let me help you---.”

 

This time Fili stood up, jerking himself away from Kili.

 

“Stop.” He said, and then he backed away from him.

 

“Stop. Stop. Nothing happened. I’m fine.” He muttered, and as he took another step backwards he tripped over the edge of the carpet, stumbled and fell with a bang. He let out a cry of hurt, and surprise.

 

“Fili. Fili, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, please…” Kili started, walking towards his brother but stopped when Fili flinched away from him and scooted backwards until his back hit the wall.

 

“Nothing happened to me. I’m fine. Nothing happened. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing…..” Fili chanted, and with each word he hit the back of his head against the wall.

 

“Stop. Stop Fili, please.”  


The door to Fili’s bedroom opened, and Thorin, Dwalin and Balin stepped into the room.

Kili turned to his uncle.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make him upset. I was trying----.”

 

“Kili…..go downstairs.” Thorin cut him off.

 

“But---.”

 

“Go downstairs. Now!” Thorin commanded, pointing to the door. Kili felt himself being ushered out by Dwalin as he watched his Uncle and Balin slowly approach Fili, who was still banging his head against the wall, curled up on the floor.

 

The Dwalin slammed the door shut, and  Kili was left to only wonder what he did wrong.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Kili stared at his mashed potatoes and tried to suppress the intense feeling of frustration in his chest. It had been three days since the incident in Fili’s room, three days since Thorin had kicked him out and told him to leave the room. Three days since he had seen Fili. Thorin had explained to him that Fili was fragile, that he needed time to heal, that until they knew what his triggers were it would be best for Kili to not visit him alone. Kili felt rather insulted, Fili was _his_ brother, shouldn’t he know how to be around his own brother? It was like he was the little brother again, always being annoying, always making things worse.  Kili had thought they had gotten over that stage when they both had hit their thirties and came of age. But apparently not. Apparently he was just the stupid, annoying, pesky little brother that never does anything right.

 

Thorin had used those three days to work Kili to the bone. Starting with opening the forge before dawn, then combat lessons with Dwalin, the studying with Balin and Ori. Kili was kept so busy that he didn’t have time to visit Fili. Part of his knew that Thorin was doing this intestinally to give them space, but still made him upset that he could help Fili.

 

Thorin but his glass down on the table.

 

“Kili.” He said

 

When Kili didn’t look up, Thorin asked again.

 

“Kili, look at me.”

 

Kili looked up.

 

“I know this has been hard for you, I know how close you are to your brother and not being able to see him must be incredibly frustrating.” Thorin said

 

Kili nodded his head.

 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Kili. And I apologize for making you feel like you did. None of us knew he was going to react like that. But now we do. Now we know that asking him what happened is upsetting to him, and so is touching him. If we respect that, then we can move forward.” Thorin said

 

“Okay.”

 

“Tomorrow, I want you to sit---.” Thorin started, but the he was cut off by a timid knock. They both looked up and saw Fili standing in the doorway, dressed in a black cotton tunic and brown pants. The cuts and bruises on his face were still there, but they had healed some.

 

Kili looked at the clocked and realized that it was their dinner time. Usually, when things were normal Thorin was very strict about having the entire family come downstairs and eat dinner at exactly 6:30 every night. Since Fili’s attack, Thorin had let that rule slide a little bit, preparing and eating dinner when time allowed it. That night, for instance they had started dinner at 5:45, because Oin had been over delivering medicine and with him he had brought his famous venison stew and baked bread. Neither Thorin nor Kili could resist the mouthwatering smells wafting from the pot that Oin had brought, so they had dinner earlier.

 

Thorin smiled, “Hello, Fili. It’s good to see you up and about. Would you like some dinner? Oin brought over his stew.”

 

Fili nodded his head, walked over to the table and sat down in his usual spot. Thorin stood and poured some stew in a bowl.

 

Fili looked at Kili and gave him a small smile.

 

“Hey Fee.” Kili said softly.

 

Fili reached over and put his hand over Kili’s. They didn’t need words to understand each other, Kili knew exactly what his brother was trying to tell him.

 

“It’s good to see you too, Fili. I’ve missed you.” Kili said.

 

Fili smiled, and squeezed Kili’s hand before letting go. Thorin handed Fili his dinner and then sat back down. He picked up his mug and took a sip.

 

The three of them sat in comfortable silence as Fili ate his dinner.

 

To multiple or divide negative inequalities solve and then the sign flips over like -3x>6 -3/3 -3/6=x<-2 graph on negative line.

 

Thorin put his mug down on the table, “Today in the forge a mockingbird flew into the rafters. It was there almost all day singing.”

 

Kili smiled, “I heard that they can even mimic other animals. Nori told me once that a mockingbird followed him home, making croaking noises at him all the way. He named him Frog, and he stuck around almost all summer.”

 

“As long as those blasted birds don’t start singing at ngiht, ill be happy.” Thorin answered.

 

Kili laughed, and took another sip from his mug.

 

They made comfortable small talk as Fili finished his stew. When Fili was done, he stood up, put the bowl in the sink and then walked away into the living room.

 

Kili and Thorin exchanged glances, but before either one of them said anything Fili came back holding a box full of puzzle pieces. He put it on the table, and then sat back down.

 

“A puzzle? Excellent idea, Fili.” Thorin said, beaming.

 

Fili gave him a small smile, then opened up and box. He started sorting out the edge pieces from the middle pieces. His face creased in focused determination as he pulled piece after piece.

 

Kili took some of the pieces and started fitting them together, as Thorin stood up to clean the dishes.

 

A comfortable silence fell over them as together, Fili and Kili worked quietly on the puzzle while Thorin cleaned. If Kili thought Thorin was taking extra time to clean the dishes, and the counter, he kept it to himself. An hour passed, then another, and soon half the puzzle was complete and Kili felt his eyes itching with tiredness. Thorin had lingered, dusting off the cabinets a little bit before going into the living room. Being close, in case they needed anything but not hovering.

 

Kili looked up, and realized that even Fili still showed the focused determination from before, his hands now were starting to shake as he picked up the pieces.

 

Kili put the piece he was holding down, “I’m about puzzled out, and ready for some peppermint tea. Would you like some, Fee?” he asked

 

Fili nodded his head.

 

“We can keep working tomorrow, I bet we could finish it in an hour.” Kili added, pointing to the half- finished puzzle.

 

Fili nodded again. Kili stood up, and put the kettle on the hearth for tea. As they waited for the water to boil, Kili set up the cups and the tea leaves.

 

“Ori and I walked to the lake today, and skipped stones. It was too cold to swim in. Ori stuck his toe in and it nearly froze.” Kili said, remembering what Balin had said about telling stories.

 

Fili nodded his head.

 

“Then we tried to fish, but neither of us remembered how to put the worm on the hook so we kind just threw string at the fish and waited for them to bite. They must have been smart fish, because they cleared right out of where we were sitting. Maybe this weekend, you and I can go to the lake and you can show me that trick you do with the worm to keep it on the hook.”

 

Fili smiled and nodded his head again.

 

Kili smiled back. This was going so well, much better than last time. He felt like jumping up and down and signing. Fili was out of his room, sitting with him at the table. They had done a puzzle together and nothing had scared Fili.

 

The kettle started to whistle, making Fili jump and then wince.

 

Kili got up quickly and poured the tea into the mugs. He picked them up and brought them to the table, putting one in front of Fili.

 

They drank the tea in silence. At one point, Thorin came in and poured himself a cup, and then went back into the living room.  Kili could tell Fili was starting to tire, his hands shaking as he lifted the cup.

 

Fili closed his eyes, his head flinched slightly to the right, and then to the left and one hand balled into a fist. Kili stared at him, _he’s getting lost_ he thought, even though Fili had been present for the past hour, he was starting to slip back into the memories of that night.

 

“Fili?” Kili asked

 

Fili flinched at his voice.

 

“Fili, it’s okay. You are safe here with me and Thorin.” Kili tried, at loss on how to bring his brother back to the present.

 

Thorin appeared in the doorway, and –after a moment of assessing the scene--- walked up to Fili making sure that he was in Filli’s eyesight at all times. Thorin sat down in the chair across from Fili and gently,  very gently, put his hand on his shoulder.

 

“Fili.” He said gently

 

And when Fili didn’t respond, he said, “Fili. Look at me.”

 

With effort, Fili opened his eyes and looked at Thorin.

 

“You did well today. It was brave of you to come downstairs, and have dinner with us. I am very proud of you.  Would you like to take your tea, and go to your room?” Thorin asked

 

Fili paused for a moment, and then he nodded his head.

 

“Okay, let’s go upstairs. Kili can carry your tea for you.” Thorin said

 

Fili nodded again, and he allowed Thorin to help him stand up. He clutched his ribs and winced again.

 

“Kili, can you look in the cabinet and get the packet of painkillers Oin brought over?” Thorin asked.

 

Kili nodded, and opened the cabinet. He grabbed the medicine, and the turned around to see Thorin leading Fili back up the stairs. He grabbed Fili’s tea on the table and followed them.

 

When Kili arrived at Fili’s room, Fili was sitting in his bed and Thorin was pulling back the blankets. Thorin smiled when he saw Kili in the doorway.

 

“Thank you Kili.” He said, and then he motioned for him to come inside. Kili pulled over a chair and sat next to Thorin, giving Thorin the mug and Oin’s bag of medicine. Thorin them and put the items bedside table. He quickly measured out the correct amount of powder, then stirred it in the cup.

 

“Here, Fili. Drink this, it will help with the pain.” Thorin said gently. Fili nodded his head, and took the cup from Thorin. He took a sip, and them grimaced.

 

Thorin smiled, “It’s a bit bitter, isn’t it?”

 

Fili nodded.

 

“It’s supposed to be. I always hated taking Oin’s medicine but trust me, it will help.” Thorin said

 

Fili nodded, and took another sip. He grimaced again.

 

“You remind me of Kili when he was a baby. Dwalin would give him a lemon and he would make the exact same expression.” Thorin said with a laugh.

 

“That’s probably why I hate lemons so much. You two wouldn’t stop giving them to me.” Kili added.

 

“You were a funny baby.” Thorin replied.

 

Kili laughed, and then yawned.

 

“Kili, why don’t you take a bath and then go to bed. I’ll need you to help me open the forge early again tomorrow.” Thorin said

 

Knowing a dismissal, Kili nodded his head. “Okay.”

 

He stood up, and then looked at Fili, who was taking another sip from the mug.

 

“Goodnight Fili, it was wonderful doing the puzzle with you tonight. Maybe we can do more tomorrow?”

 

Fili looked up, and smiled at him. He nodded his head.

 

Kili waved, and then left the room. For the first time in a long time, he felt that things had gone smoothly, and that he had actually helped his brother.

 

  

 

  


	6. Chapter 6

Over the next few weeks, Thorin kept both Fili and Kili to a strict schedule. He made that both of them had time together, but also that they had adequate time apart from each other to decompress. In the morning, Kili was sent to the forge with Thorin, or to the lake with Ori, or to catalogue the storerooms with Gloin and in the afternoon he studied with Balin. The evening, after dinner, was spent with Fili. Kili understood the reasoning behind this schedule, but it still left him exhausted at the end of the day. If Kili had his way, he would be spending every minute by Fili’s side. But no, he was off somewhere in the town, learning what Thorin liked to call “New Skills”. 

  

That’s why Kili was in the meadery with Dori, instead of home with Fili when Dwalin came into the room and whispered quietly in Kili’s ear that Fili had taken an entire package of pain medication and was unconscious, and that Thorin needed Kili by his side.  

  

To Kili’s surprise, his first reaction was confusion. He didn’t know what to feel, or how to feel. How could Fili do this? He was making so much progress? How could he think that he was so deep in this that there was no other way out? 

  

Kili followed Dwalin numbly out of the meadery, down the street and to his house. Dwalin was stiff and silent, his heavy boots the only sound as the two of them aclimbed the stairs towards Filis room. 

Thorin opened the door when Dwalin knocked. His eyes were red and puffy, and his entire body seemed to be shaking. He didn’t seem to have the strength to speak, he ushered them in with his hand.  Dwalin  put a comforting hand on his shoulder.  

Kili looked past them, and on to the bed where Fili was laying, motionless. Oin was sitting next to him, pressing a stethoscope to Fili's chest.  

Kili walked over to him. 

"How is he?" He asked 

Oin pulled the stethoscope out of his ears.  

"He will be okay. I administered ipecac syrup, and we were able to get most of the drugs out of his system before it was too late. It was a good thing Thorin found him when he did." 

Kili nodded. 

"When will he wake up?" 

Oin stilled, "We are hoping within the next two hours. But it could be sooner, or later" he answered 

Kili nodded again. 

"Is it alright if I sit with him?" 

Oin nodded, "Of course." 

He packed up the stethoscope and his other materials in his back. 

"There is not much I can do now, except wait for him to wake up. When he wakes, send for me and I can give him a full checkup." OIn said 

Kili nodded, and Oin walked over to where Thorin and Dwalin were standing. They whispered quietly together. Kili looked away from them, and back to his brother laying on the bed. Besides the too pale skin, Fili looked almost peaceful. The bruises and cuts had healed completely on his face, barely leaving any scars. 

Kili reached over and took his brother's hand. Fili remained still and asleep. Kili felt himself flinch when a hand was placed gently on his shoulder. He looked up to see Thorin staring down at him. 

"I was only gone for a few minutes. He must have taken the drugs then. When I came back the bathroom door was locked, I had to break it down. He had collapsed on the floor by the time I got to him. I'm sorry, Kili. I should have been watching him." 

Kili grabbed his uncle's hand. 

"You did everything you could, Uncle. You found him and you summoned Oin right away. Oin said he will be okay, he was able to get most of the drugs out of his system." 

Thorin nodded, "I know. But I should have known. I should have noticed the signs. I should have gotten him help sooner." 

"I think it took us all by surprise. You are not to blame." Kili answered. 

Thorin nodded again, he then sighed, "I wish....I wish your mother were here. She would have known.....helped better." 

Kili looked up at Thorin. His uncle rarely mentioned his sister, Kili's mother who had died giving birth to Kili. Kili knew that Thorin had been close to her before she died, and that thinking about her still was painful. 

"I know I was too young to remember her, but I think of her often. I dream of her, too." Kili said softly, not knowing if he was adding comfort to his Uncles melancholy or not. 

Thorin squeezed his shoulder, "You would have liked her.....she had your sense of humor, and your eyes." 

He smiled slightly, "Her spirit lives in you and Fili. I see glimpses of her everyday in both of you. I think she would have been proud." 

Kili nodded and smiled. 

Thorin squeezed his shoulder again. "Can you sit with him, just for a while? I need....I need to go to the forge." 

"Of course, Uncle. I'll be happy to." Kili answered. 

Thorin nodded, and then left the room closing the door softly behind him. 

Kili stared at his brother, laying motionless in the bed and tried to think of what he was going to say when Fili woke up.  Thorin had made it sound like Fili taking the drugs was intentional, but what if it had been an accident? What if Fili had just been sleepwalking and had gone through the motions without realizing what he was doing?  

Kili sighed and shook his head, deep down he knew the answer. Fili had the taken the drugs to try to end his life. What happened to him, what Lucas had done to him had hurt him so badly that he had thought that there was no way out. 

But there was always a way out. This was never the answer. How could he help Fili understand that? How could he help his brother when Fili still refused to say a word? 

They needed a way to talk to each other, something that made Fili comfortable. Maybe they could try writing notes to each other? It was worth a try. 

Kili stood up, and quickly walked to his room, looking for a spare notebook and pen.  When he found them, he walked back towards Fili's room. 

Kili paused in the doorway and took a quick intake of breath. 

Fili was awake. 

 

   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day everybody! <3 <3


	7. Chapter 7

_My dearest,_ _Readers_  

_I_ _hate M_ _ufasa_ _he always gets what_ _he_ _wants someday, he will get what he_ _deserves._ _Oh how I wish he would turn into a festering bucket of moldy pie._ _Hmmmmm_ _pie, I like pie, all kinds; apple, cherry, blackberry, 3.14....pie is good. Not moldy pie. That’s bad. Really bad. The worst, really. I mean, who would even want to eat moldy pie anyway?  The only person who I know who would enjoy moldy pie would be Draco Malfoy. Mostly because he deserves_ _it_ _, but who knows? He might like it. He lives in_ _Slytherin_ _, and it's all dark and damp down there. Everything gets moldy super fast at Hogwarts. Mufasa would_ _definitely_ _be in Slytherin_ _,_ _the_ _slim_ _y_ _bastard._  

_There is a rock in my shoe, and bird on my head. One day they had a disagreement and I ended up with a boulder on my belly. I have a pierced belly button. It's my dirty secret. No one knows about it. Well, I guess you guys know about it. I have a story to tell you. Once upon a time there was a kitten in a very small cage. The kitten grew, the cage didn’t._  

_T_ _he end._  

_Wasn’t_ _that wonderful? No, no, no, no it was terrible. I am awful at telling good stories. I know who tells good stories though, and that person is Martha Stewart. She went to prison, you know? I bet she knows how to make a really good prison cheesecake.  She could even make it all fancy with prison flowers, and prison icing.  Going to prison would be so_ _scary_ _,_ _I_ _would be afraid of the sleepwalkers. Or if I sleepwalked, they would all be afraid of me. One night I slept walked right out of bed into the garage and screamed_ _because I thought buzz lightyear was outside trying to murder us all. Evil Buzz Lightyear would be incredibly_ _terrifying_ _and also quite hilarious._  

_You know who else would be an amazing super_ _villian_ _? A secret_ _weapon_ _, an immigrant who's not afraid to step in? Who's constantly confusing and confounding the_ _British_ _henchmen?_ _Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de_ _Lafayette. Also known as LAFAYETTE!!! The Lancelot of the Revolution!_ _He's America's favorite fighting F_ _renchman_ _! LAFAYETTE!!! LAFAYETTE!!!! Okay I got a little distracted, I'm listening to Hamilton right now. I love Hamilton. It's weird that it's a rap musical about one of_ _America's_ _founding fathers, but I think that's also what makes i_ _t_ _awesome. I will never look at the ten dollar bill (the ten_ _doll_ _ar_ _, founding father without a father, got a lot smarter by working a lot harder)_ _the same way again (and things will never be the same....okay_ _okay_ _I'm stopping now). I wrote that all from memory, BTW. I'm not obsessed with Hamilton. No I am not_ _!_  

_I'M NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!!_  

_Okay, maybe I am a little bit._  

_Children gain valuable information by learning schemes such as banging, shaking, and mouthing objects. Schemes help children discover how objects are best used and how to use objects in new and interesting ways. Young infants use a variety of simple schemes such as mouthing, banging, handling, grasping and reaching to discover the properties of objects. IE: hard things such as blocks, soft things such as cotton balls, noisy things such as rattles and sticky things such as a piece of tape. Infants practice adapting and combining schemes until they perfect an approach that works for them._ _I copied and pasted that from my textbook. Maybe one day someone will google learning schemes and this letter will pop up and then they will be forced to read my fanfiction. MUAHAHAHAHA my evil plan is almost complete!!_  

_I'm rockin', rockin' and rollin', down to the beach I'm strolling, the seagulls poke at my head NOT FUN. I said seagulls, mmmmm stop it now!!!! That is my elevator song. I sing it in the elevator with strangers to make them feel_ _uncomfortable_ _. I also dance. It's very entertaining._  

_Did any of that make sense? I bet not. It doesn’t even make sense to me, and where is the real chapter anyway? You probally think that I am insane, and you are not wrong. But trust me, this all had a point and that point was to trick you into believing that this was the actual next chapter and also that I hate Mufasa. So my  actual point is that I just wanted to wish you all a very happy APRIL FOOL'S!!!!!!!!_  

_Much love,_  

_SongsofPsyche_  

_P.s who's the best, c'est_ _moi._  

_Sorry....sorry I'll stop now._  

_(Nevvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr)_  

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! More to come soon :)


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